If you associate love with loss it can be challenging to think about opening your heart again. Instead of imagining the beginnings of joy and connection and making beautiful memories, you jump to the pain of endings. Are you willing to be vulnerable to both?
I was contemplating these questions as a handsome man was holding me close and showering me with kisses at the Montauk Brewery on Saturday. Wow, did it feel amazing to bask in this physical attention. I started picturing us walking on the beach together (note to self must start shaving legs again) and strolling into town, inspiring admiring smiles from those we pass. I imagined looking deep into his eyes at the end of a long day and knowing that however else life had failed me, I had his love. Could I make the leap?
There was a crowd, and I was wedged in next to a man talking to a pretty girl. It was the “commitment talk.” He said, “I don’t know if my place is big enough for you to move in. And I’m afraid, with all the travel I do, if this will work long distance.” I wondered if his fears were warranted and he was actually doing her a favor or if he would look back on this moment with regret.
As I absorbed all of these relationship issues on a Saturday in March, I asked myself: Is everyone just so lonely after an isolating East End winter, longing for any connection? Or are they being honest with themselves about their limited bandwidth for love and caring?
I started to have my own doubts in my new love moment. I don’t know anything about him. What is his past? Can I trust this intuitive connection? I already see him eyeing a younger woman and wonder if his connection with me is genuine or he is just putting on a show. Is this guy really my cowboy or just looking for any sugar mama?
Welcome to dog adoption day for the Southampton Animal Shelter at the Montauk Brewing Company with Pints For Paws sponsored The Independent and organized by Nikki on the Daily.
Just like youth and beauty, we are in love with puppies. They are all so cute, everyone wants to pet them, and there is no past bad experience to try and analyze and dismantle. Even peeing in the bed is adorable. But with rescue dogs, many of them are of a certain age. It is not their fault but just bad luck that they find themselves trotting around with a bandana saying “please adopt me” to crowds of strangers who might rather pay a lot of money to an expensive breeder for a perfect new specimen. I completely relate, having invested in a blow out and actually changed out of yoga pants to bat my eyes at male dog-loving, beer-drinking potential partners.
Many people had brought their own pets, so when I originally approached a lovely dog and inquired of his name and was so happy to pet him and get a picture with him, it took me a minute to realize he was not up for adoption. This can be a bit like flirting with a man only to realize he is married, and you just put your tail between your legs and move on.
But there is a sense of gratitude in a rescue who appreciates love exponentially in its imperfect state.
As much as I desperately wanted to say to all the rescues at the party, “Ok, whoever can fit in my car, let’s go!” I knew I wasn’t quite there . . . yet.
For the rest of the month, Montauk Brewery will donate 25 percent of its special brew the Tail Ale to the Shelter. So, this one’s for you Cowboy, you four-legged hunk of burning love!